Monday, October 24, 2005

It

For those who never felt it, it can be a hard thing to accept. It needn't be thoughts of being undeserving, but simply a fear of losing, what had never once been theirs. When touched, even by a solitary stroke, long repressed needs clamour to the surface seeking constant reassurance, it truly is. Constantly seeking and constantly failing to tame the need to seek it. Moods can be sky high and ever so quickly sink to the lowest depths in sickly fear that it is lost, when silence roars. You may stretch to try to capture it, feel it against your fingertips even, but it is fleeting and for all your trying, there seems no means of grasping it, no possibility of ever being able to hold on. It flitters and floats back and forth, teasing mercilessly, not even knowing you can't possibly stand it. You just can't and that's all there is to it. The heart aches, closing. Hope falters. And so, you may find yourself testing it. Showing the worst, fore at least then you can expect it to leave, to go away. At least then you would understand, it never truly was. Like it was never meant to be. You may think, it will be okay, but it isn't. It's too late. You've already been touched.

16 comments:

mergrl said...

very well said, my friend, very well said

tsduff said...

Autumn, your use of words evokes such deep feelings when they are read. Sickly fear - don't I know that one. Amazing how you capture those thoughts.

Trée said...

I'm missing my Sunshine. Awaken from your beauty sleep my dear. Your beauty permeates from the inside out and glows with such intensity as to make even the doves look upward and ask from whence has this angel been placed upon the earth.

Oh, coffee's on. I see you smiling in your sleep. See you soon. :-)

kri80vt said...

"it" is the most beautiful word of english.. whatever it is.. i am liking it..

Trée said...

A little music for my Sunshine to go with breakfast. Enjoy dear, from Norah, of course.

What am I to you
Tell me darling true
To me you are the sea
Vast as you can be
And deep the shade of blue

When you're feeling low
To whom else do you go
See I cry if you hurt
I'd give you my last shirt
Because I love you so

If my sky should fall
Would you even call
Opened up my heart
I never want to part
I'm giving you the ball

When I look in your eyes
I can feel the butterflies
I love you when you're blue
Tell me darlin true
What am I to you

Yah well if my sky should fall
Would you even call
Opened up my heart
Never want to part
I'm giving you the ball

When I look in your eyes
I can feel the butterflies
Could you find a love in me
Could you carve me in a tree
Don't fill my heart with lies

I will you love when you're blue
Tell me darlin true
What am I to you
What am I to you
What am I to you

Autumn Storm said...

Terry, a morning to stay under the covers. Awoke late (still pitch black though) for the second time in a month - gotta blame that on the dark :-). Thank you.

mergrl - thank you too.

Aseem, hope it is what you think it is :-)

Trée, I don't think, I have heard that song, but it sound beautiful! Lovely way to start the day.
Feeling poetic this morning, always like you in that mood :-).

Autumn Storm said...

Oh, & Trée, thank you for the hot dam words :-)

Trée said...

You're welcome dear. Seeing you sleep peacefully always brings me great comfort. Is the coffee to your liking? I can always make another pot.

Autumn Storm said...

The coffee is exactly how it should be, aromatic, delicious but most of all hot. Put on another pot though, I'm going to be at home for most of the day and I'm having a 'terry-wish-I-could-have-stayed-under-the-covers' morning, so another pot is most definitely in order :-)

Lindsey said...

I'm sure 'great comfort' isn't exactly what Trée felt at seeing you sleep..he he he. I'm just sayin'

Great post Autumn...you really are a wonderful writer.

Autumn Storm said...

Thanks, Linny - in turn I shall let you in on an open secret:
I am completely and utterly green-eyed over your ability to write with such humour! There is of course much, much more than humour to you and your blog, but you have a special gift for making people smile and that is a highly enviable.

Px said...

such a cool post
i'm liking it
it made me think about things
thinking is always good

Autumn Storm said...

px, thank you, kind words.

Px said...

anytime :)

Lindsey said...

Awwww. Autumn...that was really sweet. You're making me blush. lol. by the way... the pics of your daughter are beautiful.

Autumn Storm said...

Thank you Linny.