Thursday, March 30, 2006

"Did you bring it?"
"Of course."
"So where did you put it?"
"Same place you do."
"Sure. ...I'm kidding, it's in my bra."
"And they didn't suspect?"
"Now who's kidding? Yet another plus side to looking like butter wouldn't melt."

Wednesday, March 29, 2006

The great philosophical debate

Men, women, regardless, it's amazing how often everyone else was wrong, except the person telling the actual story.

Monday, March 27, 2006

:-) (You go, we go...again)

You Are Bad Girl Sexy
Girl, you are nothing but trouble. And that's hot.
You've got the classic bad girl sexiness mojo going on.
And your badass attitude makes men fear you - and crave you.
Don't give into people who say to tone it down. You're perfect as is.
You Are 52% Open Minded
You are a very open minded person, but you're also well grounded.
Tolerant and flexible, you appreciate most lifestyles and viewpoints.
But you also know where you stand firm, and you can draw that line.
You're open to considering every possibility - but in the end, you stand true to yourself.

Friday, March 24, 2006


"Whenever I get gloomy with the state of the world, I think about the arrivals gate at Heathrow airport. General opinion is starting to make out that we live in a world of hatred and greed - but I don't see that. Seems to me that love is everywhere. Often it is not particularly dignified or newsworthy, but it's always there, fathers and sons, mothers and daughters, husbands and wives, girlfriends, boyfriends, old friends...If you look for it, I've got a sneaky feeling that love actually is all around." (Opening scene of 'Love Actually')
Though not the best movie I ever saw, I do love that opening sequence, smiles and joy and love, happy reunions. It could of course have been any airport, but the fact that I have so many personal memories from Heathrow is perhaps what makes it all the more poignant.
In fact, my very first memory is from Heathrow airport. I was 3 years old and it is of my father coming through the arrivals gate. He had unintentionally been gone for months rather than weeks due to falling ill and although I very much doubt I knew exactly what was going on, or indeed what might easily have been the outcome, somehow (as children do) I was aware, we were very lucky to have him back. The memory is short, but sweet. Running towards him as he emerged, being so very happy and seeing my mother smiling and crying simultaneously. Infinitely strange to me at the time, the concept of happy tears, familiar now.
It occured to me anew, as I sent off a parcel for my father's 70th birthday next week, never to underestimate the power of words, so too their sorrowful lack. There are so very few situations where we truly get to express in its entirety what we feel for those we love. Sometimes we can read it in a look or see it in a single act that amounts to more than words could possibly communicate, but it is rarely so obvious as on these occasions. I tell him all the time that I love him and wonder if he knows how much. But I think, he does. Afterall he's never actually said the words outloud, but I know.
Days pass, months sometimes, purposely in part I suspect, until something reminds us for a few moments of what is always within. We need reminding, perhaps because we actually subdue love, keep it down deep for to feel it all all of the time would be to feel too much.

Thursday, March 23, 2006

What washes up on very small beaches?


Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Happy Birthday, Isay

Wishing you all the very best in the year ahead!
May it be your happiest yet, x

The horse whisperer


"You are clearing up a lot of confusion. You are righting wrongs, redressing imbalances, compensating for past mistakes and starting to steer a much wiser course towards a far brighter future. That's precisely why you now feel so tense, so exasperated and so weighed down. It's always easier to stick with the status quo than to instigate important and much needed change. No matter how exhausting or impossible your current challenge seems to be, stick with it." (Helloscope)

Contradictorily, I often find small dilemmas more difficult to deal with than larger ones. With the larger, there is not even imagined choice, they get in your face from the get-go and you just get on with it there and then. With the smaller ones, it's like a dripping tap or a branch against the window, it's not pressing (at least not at first, thus other things get prioritized), they 'just' upset equilibrium and gradually become increasingly irksome. More often than not, however, the branch will tap in time with the drip and then you realize not only has a bulb blown, there is no bread in the bin and the drain is clogged, but to top it all off, you've run out of batteries. Once you hit the battery stage, things suddenly become urgent indeed.
For a few moments, in this case a little less than a fortnight, some of those small things (which really aren't that small, but anything less than life-threatening or thereabouts is 'small') were confounding me, the solutions remaining stubbornly fuzzy. For a short while, I could not see my way clear and began to suspect, I may fail at one or more of these tasks, which in turn would have resulted in speedy growth, the once small becoming quite large.
For some reason, although a given that trying to run in many different directions at once means no single destination is ever truly reached, it often takes a spell of racing around like a headless chicken before one conveniently recalls this fact. So now, although nothing is as yet over and done with, I've made the first visit to each, had a good look around, taken note of all the facts and the solutions, previously vague at best, seemingly non-existant at worst, are magically coming into focus and actually starting to look accomplishable. All I need to do is "stick with it".

Besides, it's a beautiful day! Spring is on route, the snow is almost gone, the weather is warmer, the sun is shining and the sky has turned from white to blue - that in itself is already more than enough reason for jubilation. To new beginnings, again.

Tuesday, March 21, 2006


Thursday, March 09, 2006

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

Overcompensation its many forms seems to be the theme of the hour and it is a concept with which I am admittedly familiar, i.e. coming in from behind, rushing forward in eagerness, straight past the goal and somewhere out to the far end of the field. I've been guilty of that in so many ways, sometimes even whilst perfectly aware of it. Chances are, I still am, in ways I have not acknowledged yet. Chances are, we all are, in one way or another.
Almost as pleasant a thought as it is sobering.
The interesting thing about being in the far field, especially when unaware of it, is that one is perfectly able to see the others that for one reason or another hang around out there too and with them being so close, it becomes almost too easy to recognize the behaviourial pattern in them. And naturally, it follows that the more we focus on their behaviour, the less time we have to focus on what is less than perfect about our own. Each 'far-fielder' undoubtedly has a reason, different, valid and traceable, for being there, but it is not an ideal set of circumstances regardless and more proof that we should always question ourselves, before we come up with any answers for other people.
Overcompensation costs rather than pays, but as with so many of the lessons we learn along the way, we often need to experience it firsthand to fully trust and understand the truth.

Monday, March 06, 2006

If one looks close enough... will see the smile in all things. Open and brilliant just waiting to be discovered, even in the moments filled with inconsequentiality, perhaps especially in those moments.
The trick is not to forget to look.

Widest smile thus far today:

Thursday, March 02, 2006


I'm having palpitations!
And it is not over Justin's first HNT!
(that was earlier, admittedly still drooling though)
I'm having palpitations over having run as fast as I possibly could for about a mile, which normally would be fun, but not so much in my condition (no, not pregnant, just ill) and not so much due to the circumstances (those being I have a helpful daughter). She decided to help out a friend who had lost her keys, except she was expected at the after-school club and hadn't informed anyone, where she was going. So, for almost 90 minutes, nobody had any idea where she was. A timespan which incidently, I need to address tomorrow - over an hour passed before anyone noticed she was not there and began looking for her (and telephoning me).
Still, all is well that ends well.
Those 20 minutes did confirm to me again, though I might worry about the little things too much sometimes, in a crisis I go the other way and am calm. Before I had rounded the first corner, I had come to terms with a number of different things and made a number of different decisions based on the various scenarios that could have been played out. Most importantly was the fact, if something terrible had happened to her, there was not a single thing I could do about it. If she were hurt, she would need to be taken to the hospital. If she were kidnapped, I would need to call the police, and so on. Sounds like panic, I know, but it wasn't, it was preparation for the worst all the while remaining focused on 'something bad having happened' being the least likely amongst many explanations.
And again, it really did end well, for the state I was in, coughing and gasping, by the time I found her, she got the fright of her life and will not be doing that again in a hurry (I hope). :-)

Wednesday, March 01, 2006