Sunday, February 04, 2007

Stubborn, moi?

When I look back over the last year plus of this blog, I see a whole heap of good times in comments but not a whole lot of in the way of posts. And though I love all the chinwagging, the coffee drinking and the philosophizing, I do miss the days when I would write a post that had meaning behind it and revel in watching it be received so kindly. I've been so fortunate to have met the nicest, sweetest people here and the comments on those posts just warmed my heart no end and filled me with such genuine and pure pleasure. You guys are almost too sweet though, firstly during the summer, when I was here and hardly had time to even check in with you in return. I never thanked you properly, due I must say to the fact that those gestures reached so far in, touched me so deeply. At a time, where it seemed as if the ones who should, didn't, you did, and I thank you for your caring. It meant the world. Secondly for always stopping by and leaving such nice words, staying for coffee and a chat :-), even when posts have been almost non-existant and when they did appear were by the vast majority indecent so to speak, and not in the good way.

I was thinking about the different types of bloggers, and there are types. And how we all come here for one reason or another, at least initially. Or rather the reason we first come may not be the same as the reason we stay. One thing is certain, I never expected to fall so deeply for so many people I have never met (Terry and Isay, you guys are included too of course) and each of you has been a blessing in my life and I am so thankful to have had the opportunity (and to continue doing so) of getting to know you.

I came here to peel off the layers I had piled on, just to say the things that I didn't need for anybody to hear but myself. I came here while buried deep in the past, deep within myself and I was no longer being who I am to the outside world. Well, in truth, it was a spur of the moment thing to create a blog, so I didn't know it at first that that was what this place would be, but it soon became that way.

This place helped me find my happy and I can honestly say as I walk about the world now, I do so as I once did before I got hurt too bad for me to be able to cope, with my arms wide open to anybody who wants to walk in.

I have no need to hear my own voice, it's loud and clear in silence. No barriers between in and out, free flow.

I never was a writer. And I never was one to talk much unless I have something I really want to say. I could tell you about all the beauty I see everyday, about the smiles that are exchanged, and of all the love that I feel, but without the need to express it pushing at my words, it would sound exactly that way and about as interesting, and I hate to bore you with endless 'wonderfuls'. The expression is lived.

So, what I am basically saying is that I won't be posting any more indecent posts, at least not until I post my promised one-off HNT ;-) and that though my place is always open for coffee and chinwagging, I should like to spend more time out and about instead, so put the kettle on. I'll see you first.